


Regina is Her Usual Forthcoming Self

by fairchristabel



Series: Her Favorite Flowers Are the White Ones [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 17:13:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairchristabel/pseuds/fairchristabel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina and Emma have been dating for a few months now, but Regina will not tell Emma when her birthday is. Emma makes it her mission to find out. A sequel to my previous fic, Her Favorite Flowers Are the White Ones, but can be read as a stand-alone. Two-parter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regina is Her Usual Forthcoming Self

          Emma blinked open her eyes, then shut them again and stretched, lazily rubbing her arms and legs across the smooth sheets she was sprawled upon. Man, she was gonna have to wrangle staying at Regina’s more often. And wrangle Regina more often, she smirked.

          “Enjoying yourself?”

          An amused voice resonated from the general vicinity of the bedroom door. Emma cracked open her left eye and smiled. “Yup,” she replied, stretching her arms above her head and burrowing down even further in the bed.

          Regina lifted an eyebrow and pushed herself off the door frame, stepping fully into the room. “And does our esteemed Sheriff plan on getting out of bed today?”

          Emma paused in her movements, then sighed and pulled the comforter over her head. Her voice came out muffled. “Nope, I think I’ve finally found it.”

          “Found what, dear?” Regina asked as she moved forward and perched on the edge of the bed by Emma’s head.

          Emma pulled the blanket down and stared up at Regina seriously. “The place I’m gonna spend the rest of my life.”

          Regina’s eyes grew a bit wider, but she appeared otherwise composed as she laid a hand on Emma’s arm. “Emma—”

          “Regina,” Emma replied, taking one of the brunette’s hands in both of her own, “I know we haven’t talked about this yet, but, do you realize how ridiculous this bed is? There’s like, three mattresses on this thing—” some kind of Princess and the Pea complex going on there—“and then you’ve got these, like, million thread count sheets on here, not to mention this comforter, which, I gotta say, looks and feels a lot like cashmere, and I know that stuff is super expensive, so—”

          “Emma!” Regina admonished, pulling her hand away.

          Emma smiled up at her. “Too rambly?”

          “A bit,” Regina allowed, patting Emma’s leg.

          “Sorry, sometimes early in the morning my inside thoughts slip out and become my outside thoughts.”

          “I’ve noticed,” Regina responded dryly. “Nevertheless,” she continued, standing up and crossing the room, “I came to see if you’d be joining us for breakfast, but if you’d rather lie here and rhapsodize about my bedding—”

          “Foooooooood,” Emma said slowly, reluctantly pushing the (totally) cashmere blanket back and wriggling out of bed. Regina had turned to the vanity on the opposite side of the room. Emma caught Regina’s eyes in the large mirror that framed the table and smiled at her. Emma twisted her torso and stretched, her tank top riding up just enough for a sliver of skin to peek through. She casually glanced over at Regina and found her eyes glued to Emma’s hip. Bingo. She totally had it this time. Emma sauntered over to where Regina was now blatantly staring at her in the mirror and wrapped her arms around Regina’s waist. “So, meet at Granny’s in thirty?” Emma asked, settling her chin on Regina’s shoulder.

          “Umm,” Regina agreed.

          “And then I’ll pick Henry up after school,” Emma continued, turning her head and nuzzling Regina’s neck lightly.

          “Umm-hmm,” Regina responded, closing her eyes and leaning back slightly.

          And now to move in for the kill. “And you birthday is when?”

          “It’s—” Regina opened her eyes and stepped away. “Nice try. But I told you, I don’t have a birthday.”

          “Of course you do, everyone does.”

          “I don’t. Check my driver’s license.”

          Emma growled in frustration. That had been the first place she’d looked. “C’mon, Regina,” she whined. “Give me something.”

          “Oh, fine,” Regina huffed. “I was born in Gerflurghenshtein.”

          Emma blinked. Then blinked again. “I would say ‘bless you,’ but I’m not sure if you just sneezed or vomited there.”

          Regina rolled her eyes and turned around. “Twenty-five minutes, Sheriff,” she called over her shoulder as she exited the room.

 

*                 *                 *                 *                 *                 *

 

          Emma held the door open as Regina and Henry departed Granny’s, pulling on their coats and gloves. The three walked over to Regina’s car. “So I’ll see you tonight, then.”

          “6:00,” Regina affirmed, twisting the key in the ignition and turning the heat on.

          “And you,” Emma said, wrapping her arm around Henry’s neck as they walked to the other side of the vehicle, “I’ll see after school.”

          “Okay,” Henry said excitedly, “and then we can talk about my new ideas for Operation Cake.”

          “I hope one of those ideas is a better name for this operation,” Emma replied with a grin, squeezing Henry affectionately as she opened the door for him.

          Henry rolled his eyes at her as he climbed in the car. “I have lots of ideas,” he said loftily as he buckled his seat belt.

          “I hope you do kid, I need all the help I can get.”

          “If you two are quite finished,” Regina interjected, leaning over and gazing at Emma with a raised eyebrow, “our son does have school to get to today.”

          “Yeah, kid, quit holding us up. Go get your education on,” Emma said with a smirk as she stepped back from the car and shut his door. Her smirk grew even wider as, almost simultaneously, Regina and Henry rolled their eyes at her, then waved as they pulled out of the parking lot.

          Emma waved until their car was out of sight, then turned and strolled back into the diner. “Hey Rubes,” she called as she slid onto a stool at the counter.

          “Long time no see,” Ruby answered with a grin as she walked over to where Emma was sitting. “Back for more?”

          “Just a hot cocoa, this time,” Emma said as she pulled her gloves off and tucked them in her pocket. “I mostly came back to ask you something.”

          Ruby leaned over the bar, eyes sparkling. “Ooo, is it a new mission? Something glamorous and dangerous?”

          Emma shook her head. “Yeah, exactly, glamorous and dangerous, here in Storybrooke,” she said dryly as Ruby turned to go make her cocoa. Ruby and Henry were two peas in a pod sometimes. Kids these days, wanting to be all cool like James Bond, and, umm, other, spy-y people. There was that dude, in that movie—  

          “Extra whip cream?” Ruby called, sticking her head out of the back.

          “Sure thing,” Emma replied. She pulled out her notebook and set it beside her, then casually dropped a napkin on the ground. As she leaned down to pick it up, Emma surreptitiously checked out the other diner patrons to make sure no one was within listening distance. When she lifted her napkin she froze. Was that—

          “Here you go, Em!” Ruby said cheerfully as she sat a large mug of cocoa down in front of the Sheriff.

          Emma looked up at the waitress with wide eyes then glanced back under the counter. “Ruby, I don’t want to alarm you, but you have a couple of mice in here. Sitting at a table. A mouse-sized table.”

          “Oh, they must’ve come in with Ashley and Sean earlier,” Ruby replied as she peered over the counter. “Are they wearing their little dinner jackets?”

          Emma paused in the middle of shifting her things down a couple of stools and bent her head back down. “Yep,” she said, straightening back up, “and one has a top hat.”

          “Aww, they’re so cute when they’re dressed up! I’m so glad she’s got them wearing the clothes now instead of trying to eat them. It’s gonna make it a lot easier when they start making her dresses.”

          Emma coughed in the midst of swallowing her first sip of cocoa. Mice making clothes? That did not sound hygienic at all. And were they getting paid, or were they working for free? Oh man, was she gonna have to bust Cinderella for running a mouse sweat shop? Emma became vaguely aware of Ruby reaching over to pound her back as Emma managed to choke down the rest of her chocolate.

          “I’m kidding!” Ruby laughed as she settled back onto her side of the bar. “Mice can’t make a dress. Not by themselves, anyway. They need the birds’ help. I think Ashley is gonna talk to Snow about training some of her birds to help.”

          Emma groaned. “Ugh, don’t remind me. I’m gonna have to dodge those guys later when I go visit her. They’re just so sneaky. I’ll think I’ve lost them, and I’ll turn around and BAM! one of them’s sitting on my shoulder.”

          Ruby grinned as she wiped down the counter. “You know, you should really try to communicate with them more. It’s kind of a princess thing, talking to the animals and all.”

          “Yeah, Snow tried to make me sing to them the last time I visited.”

          “Ha! I would have loved to see that. So, did you?”

          Emma huffed and shook her head, curls falling around her shoulders. “I mean, yeah, eventually, because she wouldn’t let me into the house, and the birds wouldn’t let me back to my car, so I sang them the first song that came to mind.”

          “And?” Ruby prompted.

          “And they didn’t sing it back to me, like Snow said they would.”

          “Well what did you sing?”

          “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song. It was the only thing I could think of,” Emma said defensively.

          “Awesome!” Ruby crowed.

          “Yeah, well, Snow and the birds didn’t seem to really appreciate it. At least she’s stopped mentioning it to me every time we talk now,” Emma said, picking up a spoon and stirring her cocoa counter-clockwise. “Anyway, besides mice and birds, there was something I wanted to ask you.” 

          “Oh, yeah, the secret mission. Lay it on me.”

          “Ruby, coffee’s almost out,” Granny called from the kitchen.

          “Okay,” Ruby answered, immediately turning her attention back to the Sheriff. “What is it? Something to do with Henry? Or Regina?”

          Emma nodded, dipping her finger into her whip cream. “Regina,” she answered, licking the cream off of her finger. “I’m trying to figure out when her birthday is.”

          “Oh, it’s—huh, I don’t think I know. Usually royals had big shindigs on their birthdays, but I don’t remember her ever having one. Or if she did, no one went to it. You should probably ask Snow, she’d be the one most likely to know. I assume Regina’s been her usual forthcoming self?

          Emma snorted into her cocoa. “Yeah, pretty much. She’s been just brushing me off when I ask, but this morning she told me she was born in Geplajastine or something.”

          “You mean Gerflurghenshtein?” Granny asked as she passed by with a pot of coffee in her hands.

          “Gesundheit,” Ruby replied absently as she leaned back to switch the filter in the coffee maker and start a new batch brewing.

          “No,” Granny responded, setting the pot down on the counter and pushing herself up onto a stool beside Emma. “Gerflurghenshtein was a storm, back in the Enchanted Forest.”

          Emma’s eyes lit up. “Do you remember when it was?”

          “Hmm,” Granny said thoughtfully. “I’d say 34 years ago, give or take.”

          Emma shook her head. “But what day was it? What was the date?”

          “Oh, it wasn’t just one day. Gerflurghenshtein lasted almost three months. Gave us the coldest winter I remember,” Granny said, staring down at a menu and idly tracing the design on the front. She blinked, then stood up, walking behind the counter and nudging Ruby on her way by. “Don’t forget about that couple in the corner.”

          “Yes, Granny,” Ruby said, rolling her eyes as she leaned back down on her elbows in front of Emma.

          Emma sighed and looked down at her notes, which so far consisted of a few different doodles of race cars, and woodland creatures, and woodland creatures driving race cars, and the words REGINA BORN IN WINTER. “Well, at least that gives me something. I mean, winter’s almost here, so her birthday’s gotta be soon.”

          “Unless we were in the Southern Hemisphere,” Ruby offered as she began rolling silverware and napkins.

          Ugh, it was just like Regina to give her a three month window instead of just saying the actual day, like a normal person. Of course, that was more than she had to go on this morning, so—“Wait, what?” Emma jerked her head up and spun around on the stool. “The who in the what now?”

          Ruby leaned back across the counter, grabbing a pen from her apron and drawing a circle on Emma’s check. “You know,” she said, pointing to a spot near the top of the sphere and drawing an X, “it’s like, almost winter here, yeah?” Emma nodded. “So that means down here,” Ruby continued, coloring in the bottom half of the globe, “Australia and stuff are about to have their summer.”

          Emma stared at Ruby, who had gone back to separating forks and spoons, then looked down at her notes, then back to Ruby. “So, were you?”

          “Hmm?” Ruby paused. “Were we what?”

          Emma pinched the bridge of her nose. She should have totally stayed in bed today. “In the Southern Hemisphere.”

          Ruby looked thoughtful as she sauntered around the end of the counter and slipped onto a stool near Emma, propping her chin on her hand. “Well, it was almost always snowing where I grew up, but Snow came from a much more temperate climate. And of course, David was a shepherd, but now that I think about it that could be done in cold or warm weather. And the dwarves were miners, so they were up in the mountains. Oh! Michael was a wood cutter, so he lived in a forest—”

          “Deciduous, coniferous, or rain?” Emma interrupted, trying to stem the deluge of Enchanted Forest information before she completely zoned out on Ruby.

          “Huh?” Ruby shook her head. “Deciduous? Maybe. I mean, it could be coniferous, definitely not a rainforest because—” Ruby paused, gob-smacked. “Emma,” she whispered, leaning over and grabbing the blonde’s arm. “I don’t think we had rainforests. Like, at all.”

          “Uh-huh,” Emma replied, pulling her arm away and drawing the finishing stripe on a tiny chipmunk in the corner of her page. There. Now she just needed to add a sweet ride for the little dude. She glanced over at Ruby, who had ceased talking and was now just staring off into space. “Hey Rubes,” Emma called, waving her hand in front of the waitress’ face.

          “No rainforests, Em. Who knows what else we were missing. Maybe we didn’t have hemispheres; we might not even come from a round planet. Oh. My. God. We come from a flat planet!”

          Emma pulled her hand back slowly, turning her head and surveying the diner. No one seemed bothered by the outburst, and Ruby had picked up her pen and started working on something at the end of the bar. Emma stood up, dropping her money on the counter and patting Ruby awkwardly on the shoulder. “You know what, never mind, I can see you’re having a moment here so I’m just gonna go. I’ll see you later, yeah?”

          “Humph,” Ruby grunted noncommittally, waving Emma off as the waitress furiously sketched various geometric shapes on a napkin.


End file.
